Dream as if you'll live forever
Live as if you'll die today

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Sometimes You Just Need a Hug

As of late I have been struggling.
This is a hard thing to admit as I've always believed myself to be a strong, independent individual.
Able to handle any situation.
Well I feel like I've been rode hard and put away wet!
My mental stability has been called into question again.

I've talked about it a little in the past and I am trying more to open up about it but it is tough.
Roughly 2 years ago I had a mental breakdown, diagnosed with PTSD, and had to take some time off work.
I may look and act OK but truth is though I am much better I am still having some rough patches.
Which is normal, but when something triggers me I am embarrassed by my actions which just exasperates me even more.
I know I should not be embarrassed but that is easier said than done.

My main struggle is my fight or flight response to the slightest tense situation.
Do you know how hard this can be in a corporate retail environment?
And I feel so stuck in this environment which is another issue which adds to the mental overloads.
Also my expertise, professionalism, and communication skills all come until question as I struggle.

I admit I am not an easy person to get along with because of this but I am doing the best I can.
Everyone struggles in their own way we all know that and there are many times when I wish the human race had more compassion but it is what it is.
I guess this is why I decided to share. Not something I am used to as I am pretty introverted when it comes to talking about how I feel.
But the more open and honest talk on a subject whatever it may be perhaps compassion and empathy for others will become the norm.

I am not writing this or any other entry for any reason other than to get it out of my system. You have to find a way to get things out.
For me I've decided to write it out and bare my soul so to speak and if you are reading this thank you it means a lot!
My journey is your journey should you choose to follow.

Welcome to my world where beginning today I'm just gonna say it like it is.
I am who I am, take it or leave it!

Thank you for helping in my healing process.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Going Well?

Well this writing challenge is going about as well as I expected.
I thought it would be easy but nope it was/is difficult.
Not sure why but it is what it is.
Perhaps tomorrow I will write something